


It's not them

by LadyBrooke



Series: Hidden Feelings [2]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-04
Updated: 2013-05-04
Packaged: 2017-12-10 08:09:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/783776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBrooke/pseuds/LadyBrooke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Namo knows that every feeling of those in his Halls, even the ones they refuse to let themselves feel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's not them

"It's not really them you hate, is it Feanor?" the words came surrounding him in the Halls. Desperately, he tried to avoid them. "Now, Feanor, you know you can't avoid me."

"Why can't I, Lord Namo?" Feanor said, dodging into another portion of the Halls.

"Because these are my halls, young one, and you won't be able to go much farther," Feanor just knew that Namo was taunting him with those words. Indeed, the second he tried to lose Namo again, he found his way blocked. There was no way to move any further. So, instead, he resolutely stared at the wall and decided to block anything Namo had to say from mind.

"So, Feanor, you're still deciding to delude yourself? You understand this is the only thing standing in your way of true healing," Feanor resolutely refused to answer.

"Very well then, we'll do this the difficult way. I'll talk, and you'll stay here and try to ignore everything I say." Namo gestured, and a chair appeared in the room for him to sit in. "You, throughout your life, have hated Indis, and your half-brothers, as well as their families. The rare exceptions to that were a few of your nephews and nieces, however that had more to do with your children's friendships and no real wish of your own."

Feanor, at this point, made a point to begin reciting the properties of jewels under his breath. The first few times he had done this, Namo had become aggravated. Now though, he simply pitied this fea that was so trapped in his own thoughts about what was right with his family and what was wrong, that he couldn't acknowledge the truth about what he felt.  
"You are unable to hate those that –perhaps rightly- deserve your anger. Instead, you have placed most of your blame on children. It is not Fingolfin's fault that your father remarried. Nor did your father remarry to replace you and your mother, no matter how – "

He was unable to continue. "STOP TELLING ME HOW I SHOULD FEEL ABOUT MY FATHER. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND. JUST LET ME OUT OF HERE!" Feanor was at the end of his rope once more.

"Very well. If that is what you truly desire," the only response he received was an angry silence from Feanor. Sighing, he allowed Feanor to exit the room. When he was the only one in the room, he placed his head in his hands and sighed. "You're never going to find peace as long as you hold onto to those feelings, Spirit of Fire. If you would just allow yourself to acknowledge that it's really your mother and father you resent…."


End file.
